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This is delicious! I give it two thumbs u– AAIIIEEEEEE!!!

January 10, 2012

I don’t understand the people who say that they can’t cook. I really don’t. It seems that you would have to have a learning disability to be unable to cook, and every person I’ve heard make that claim took regular classes in high school. I’m prepared to accept that a few of them may have slipped through the system undiagnosed, but in most cases ability is not the issue.

“I don’t cook” or “I don’t want to cook”—those are different stories. Those are understandable. Cooking means planning and shopping and concentrating and cleaning, none of which are inherently fun to do.

But a man should cook. He doesn’t have to love it so much that he buys the domain name and quits his job, but he should have a few winning meals up his sleeve. Beyond eggs or pancakes. Brinner is wonderful, but that alone won’t cut it.

So here’s a 2012 resolution for the culinarily challenged: Learn to cook five main dishes. Don’t worry about appetizers or breads or desserts; just crank out five entrees at some point this year, and I promise you that someone whose opinion you value will be impressed with your work. And don’t be intimidated by the word ‘cook.’ If you can follow instructions, then you can cook.

To get you started on the right foot with this goal, I offer 2 simple tips that will come in handy throughout the year:

1. Find good recipes. Not create good recipes; find them. And just copy them. Let the culinary artists be the ones who experiment with the right amounts of cumin or fennel; all you have to do is be the one who benefits from their hard work. I really like a cooking blog called Easy-to-follow recipes, great food. Their Asian BBQ Chicken is the muthaflippin’ cat’s pajamas.

2. Respect the hand blender.

“Oh, I get it! ‘Come in handy throughout the year’? Nice pun!”

No. That wasn’t— Just pay attention.

This is great for blending up soups. It’s not that you’re going to use this tons, but if you use it improperly, it could set back your efforts a bit. Specifically, you shouldn’t ever put one of your fingers near the blade while the trigger is compressed. You may not remember this from high school, but on the periodic table of elements, metal is a lot harder than skin.

“Why would I ever do something that stupid?” you ask.

Why do you always have to be so freaking JUDGMENTAL? I respond. Even smart people make mistakes!

Hey, wanna see a picture of what it looks like if you forget this tip? Of course you do. This was sent to me, anonymously, by someone else, not me, who’s probably a nice guy, regardless of who he is.

(I’ll even include some extra buffer spaces to let you decide if you want to scroll down to it.)






Bon appetit!
  1. Becky permalink

    I totally understand how a reasonably intelligent person can momentarily forget the relationship between the trigger and the blade on a hand blender. I once stuck my hand in the helicopter blades of a Bamix. (if you don’t know what a Bamix is, multiply the power of a hand blender by about 50 and you have a pretty good idea.) I was dang lucky that a plastic surgeon was on duty at the Springville Emergency Clinic that day. Can I check your thumb for scars when I see you next? (Can’t wait to check out the Asian BBQ Chicken…)

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